I haven’t pulled a server log recently to extract search phrases to see what’s hitting big. Honestly, there’s been little need — for a day-to-day look at what people are looking for, the Automattic Stats plug-in for WordPress has done a pretty good job of letting me see, without nasty server logs, what people are looking for when they surf through here on their way from Google or Yahoo!<\/p>\n
A review of the stats page this morning showed two really odd<\/i> search phrases I just had to share.<\/p>\n
1)<\/b> “how does the bible explain people on other planets.”<\/p>\n
Umm. Okay. The Bible doesn’t explain people on other planets. At least, I don’t think it does — I haven’t read it in a number of years, nor do I have any burning desire to do so. But I think it’s safe to say that the Bible speaks not word one about the methane breathers on Beta Quintesetz V and their polytheistic tantric belief system.<\/p>\n
Though if someone can give me a citation, I’ll gladly take it. My guess is that it’s probably in the Book of Armaments.<\/p>\n
And…<\/p>\n
2)<\/b> “adult amish fanfiction.”<\/p>\n
Umm. What?<\/i><\/p>\n
First, if there’s adult Amish fiction out there, it wouldn’t surprise me. There’s something for everyone<\/i> on the ‘net, after all.<\/p>\n
Second, if someone wanted to adult Amish fiction, why would it be fan<\/i> fiction? It’s not like there’s some property whose toes the writer would be stepping on. And surely<\/i> there’s a market for erotic Amish fiction. Someone will pay<\/i> for erotic Amish fiction. Someone. Somewhere<\/i>. No fucking doubt.<\/p>\n
Third, just because I lived in Amish country doesn’t mean I know jack<\/i> about the mating habits of the Amish. If you want my honest opinion? Those dour expressions they wear all the time? Masking some really<\/i> kinky shit. They don’t want the English to know how completely depraved they are. \ud83d\ude06<\/p>\n
One other random thought, just because a quick glance tells me I do receive a number of hits on this. Yes, some enterprising manga publisher should<\/i> release a Doctor Who<\/i> manga. But no, I don’t have any secret knowledge about a Doctor Who<\/i> manga. I’m imagining the Doctor and Martha landing smack dab in the middle of a mecha war. Oh, duuuude….<\/i> \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I haven’t pulled a server log recently to extract search phrases to see what’s hitting big. Honestly, there’s been little need — for a day-to-day look at what people are looking for, the Automattic Stats plug-in for WordPress has done a pretty good job of letting me see, without nasty server logs, what people areContinue reading “On Search Phrase Madness”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4095],"tags":[4082,353],"class_list":["post-1337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wordpress","tag-doctor-who","tag-search-phrases","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1337","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1337"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1337\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1337"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1337"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1337"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}