{"id":2196,"date":"2009-02-16T12:24:42","date_gmt":"2009-02-16T17:24:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.net\/?p=2196"},"modified":"2009-02-16T12:24:42","modified_gmt":"2009-02-16T17:24:42","slug":"on-allyns-mysterious-bruise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/?p=2196","title":{"rendered":"On Allyn’s Mysterious Bruise"},"content":{"rendered":"

The facts are these.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I have a bruise on my right hand.<\/li>\n
  2. The bruise is on the back of the hand.<\/li>\n
  3. The bruise is situated roughly adjacent to my right thumb and my wrist.<\/li>\n
  4. The bruise measures 1 1\/2-inches in diameter.<\/li>\n
  5. The bruise is a deep purple.<\/li>\n
  6. The bruise hurts like a motherfucker.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    If you have any information on the cause or purpose of said bruise, please let the management know.<\/p>\n

    A mysterious, unexplained bruise is not a good bruise.<\/p>\n

    Especially one that hurts like this one!<\/p>\n

    \n

    I think I’ve coined another new word, neologism-thingie.<\/p>\n

    “Watchmania.”<\/p>\n

    Use it in everyday conversation! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

    \n

    ETA:<\/b> Under natural light, rather than the fluorescents at work, the bruise turned out to be minor. Certainly not as dark as it had appeared at first. Most curious.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    The facts are these. I have a bruise on my right hand. The bruise is on the back of the hand. The bruise is situated roughly adjacent to my right thumb and my wrist. The bruise measures 1 1\/2-inches in diameter. The bruise is a deep purple. The bruise hurts like a motherfucker. If youContinue reading “On Allyn’s Mysterious Bruise”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[4093,396],"class_list":["post-2196","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","tag-life","tag-silly","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2196","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2196"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2196\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2196"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2196"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2196"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}