{"id":2257,"date":"2009-03-19T10:00:38","date_gmt":"2009-03-19T15:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.net\/?p=2257"},"modified":"2009-03-19T10:00:38","modified_gmt":"2009-03-19T15:00:38","slug":"on-george-bushs-memoir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/?p=2257","title":{"rendered":"On George Bush’s Memoir"},"content":{"rendered":"

Former President George W. Bush is writing a memoir<\/a>. Entitled Decision Points<\/i>, it’s due out in 2010.<\/p>\n

On the off-chance that Bush or one of his lackeys is reading this, if you’re in market for a ghost-writer, I work cheap. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

I disagreed with damn never every decision you made, George Bush, which you may think should disqualify me immediately from ghosting your memoir. But you need<\/i> someone who despised your guts and rejected your principles to make you look like a saint. You don’t want a book that appeals to your “base.” You’re not going to sell<\/i> a book that only appeals to your base. You want a book that makes you look like a genius, and the only way you get that is by appealing to people like me, who think you’re a fucking toad.<\/p>\n

In short, you need one of your enemies to write your book. Because they’re not in your base.<\/p>\n

So why not me? As I said, I work cheap. I won’t make you look like your decisions were made out of a messianic certaintude, I’ll make your decisions look reasoned and considered. Your decision to read My Pet Goat<\/i> on 9-11 will look like an act of considered defiance in the face of a hostile and unknown world. Your non-response to Hurricane Katrina will look like a principled stand for states rights.<\/p>\n

What you’ll get is a literate work, that makes you look like you really did<\/i> all that reading your handlers said you did. What you’ll get is a work that moves your readers, that makes them sympathize with you.<\/p>\n

You want to rehabilitate your image for the history books, George Bush? The contact button is up top. Drop me an e-mail, and I’ll make you look like Mahatma fucking Gandhi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Former President George W. Bush is writing a memoir. Entitled Decision Points, it’s due out in 2010. On the off-chance that Bush or one of his lackeys is reading this, if you’re in market for a ghost-writer, I work cheap. \ud83d\ude42 I disagreed with damn never every decision you made, George Bush, which you mayContinue reading “On George Bush’s Memoir”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[119],"tags":[273],"class_list":["post-2257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-george-bush","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2257\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}