I’m milling about Barnes & Noble after work, two paperbacks in one hand, a Caffe Mocha in the other. I don’t have anywhere I need to be, I’m in no rush to go home, so I’ve been wandering aimlessly through the store. Up at the front there’s a display of Christmas cards, a whole table full, and I realize with some weariness that Christmas is<\/i> only around the corner, two months, but still. I don’t really need<\/i> more Christmas cards; I have some left from last year that I can use this coming Christmas, but I go and take a look anyway.<\/p>\n
“Do you have any Lord of the Rings<\/i> Christmas cards?”<\/p>\n
I look around. The only person in the vicinity is a woman, middle-aged, slightly frumpy, glasses. “Excuse me?” I reply.<\/p>\n
“Lord of the Rings<\/i> Christmas cards. Do you have any?”<\/p>\n
Let’s consider the fact that I don’t<\/i> work for Barnes & Noble for a moment. People must think I work in every<\/i> retail establishment–I must have that “presence” or somesuch.<\/p>\n
My eyes narrow. I blink rapidly, several times. Confusion abounds. My voice hardens. “Lord of the Rings<\/i> Christmas cards. You’re looking for Lord of the Rings<\/i> Christmas cards.”<\/p>\n
She bobs her head excitedly, oblivious to the incredulity in my voice. “Yes, yes, absolutely. Something with Hobbits around a Christmas tree.”<\/p>\n
I breathe deeply. “Are you out of your mind<\/i>? Lord of the Rings<\/i> Christmas cards? Do you realize<\/i> how stupid<\/i> a question that is?” I’m practically shrill.<\/p>\n
“What do you mean?” How she wasn’t insulted I can’t fathom.<\/p>\n
“They don’t celebrate Christmas in Middle-Earth. They don’t even have religion<\/i> in Middle-Earth. And you want Christmas cards<\/i>? Don’t you realize how tacky<\/i> that is? For frell’s sake, I hope the Tolkien estate never<\/i> endorses something so patently<\/i> insipid.”<\/p>\n
That<\/i> insulted her, and she stormed off elsewhere in the store, doubtless to tell someone on duty what a terrible staffer I was.<\/p>\n
Hobbits and Christmas trees. Some ideas are just too stupid<\/i> to think about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’m milling about Barnes & Noble after work, two paperbacks in one hand, a Caffe Mocha in the other. I don’t have anywhere I need to be, I’m in no rush to go home, so I’ve been wandering aimlessly through the store. Up at the front there’s a display of Christmas cards, a whole tableContinue reading “On Random Weirdness”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114,135],"tags":[64,4093,368],"class_list":["post-229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-asides","category-tolkien","tag-christmas","tag-life","tag-lord-of-the-rings","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=229"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/229\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}