{"id":2385,"date":"2009-06-06T13:22:16","date_gmt":"2009-06-06T18:22:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.net\/?p=2385"},"modified":"2009-06-06T13:22:16","modified_gmt":"2009-06-06T18:22:16","slug":"on-my-grandmothers-latest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/?p=2385","title":{"rendered":"On My Grandmother&#8217;s Latest"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Today, I wondered for the first time who my grandmother thought I was.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;d gone into the kitchen to fix some lunch.  I wasn&#8217;t sure what I wanted; I would scavenge in the refrigerator until something promising came to the fore.<\/p>\n<p>My grandmother was in the kitchen.  When she&#8217;s upset, she tends to wander nervously.  &#8220;They need to move their car,&#8221; she said.<\/p>\n<p>Obviously, I had no idea who &#8220;they&#8221; were.  &#8220;What car?  Where?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The one blocking the driveway.  People can&#8217;t come up the road.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I looked out the three kitchen windows.  I didn&#8217;t see anything to the front.  I saw my grandmother&#8217;s car out the side window.  I saw my parents&#8217; car out the back window.  In short, everything was where it was supposed to be.<\/p>\n<p>I shrugged, said nothing, and went in the refrigerator.  There were American cheese slices in the meat tray, and I considered that for a moment.  Then I saw a banana on the table, and I had a much better idea &mdash; peanut butter and banana.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That car needs to move,&#8221; my grandmother said again, insistent.  She pointed out the kitchen door.<\/p>\n<p>I shut the refrigerator door, looked out the kitchen door, saw my parents&#8217; red Kia precisely where it was supposed to be.  Surely that couldn&#8217;t be the car she was upset about.  &#8220;What car?&#8221; I said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That car!&#8221;  She pointed again.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know what you&#8217;re talking about.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The red car!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What about it?&#8221; I said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It can&#8217;t sit there!  It&#8217;s blocking the driveway.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No, it&#8217;s not.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It shouldn&#8217;t be there.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Why shouldn&#8217;t it be there?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s blocking the driveway.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But it&#8217;s not.  Where else would they park?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Who?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My parents.  It&#8217;s their car.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know that.  I&#8217;ve never met your parents.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>At that point, I ignored her questions, slicing instead the banana, layering the peanut butter onto the bread, and eating the peanut butter straight because I really do love peanut butter.  Continuing the conversation would have been pointless.<\/p>\n<p>My peanut butter-and-banana sandwiches were excellent, by the way.  I put mini chcolate chips on one.  The banana was quite ripe. :party:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today, I wondered for the first time who my grandmother thought I was. I&#8217;d gone into the kitchen to fix some lunch. I wasn&#8217;t sure what I wanted; I would scavenge in the refrigerator until something promising came to the fore. My grandmother was in the kitchen. When she&#8217;s upset, she tends to wander nervously.<a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/?p=2385\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">&#8220;On My Grandmother&#8217;s Latest&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[159,4093],"class_list":["post-2385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","tag-grandmother","tag-life","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2385","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2385"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2385\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2385"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2385"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2385"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}