{"id":32440,"date":"2020-01-16T23:03:09","date_gmt":"2020-01-17T04:03:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/?p=32440"},"modified":"2020-01-16T23:03:09","modified_gmt":"2020-01-17T04:03:09","slug":"going-to-hell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/?p=32440","title":{"rendered":"Going to Hell"},"content":{"rendered":"

After work, I stopped at the grocery store, the Giant off Queen Street. I needed milk and bread and vanilla sandwich cookies.<\/p>\n

Though we’re three weeks past Christmas, there was a display dump of Christmas books.<\/p>\n

And it caught my attention.<\/p>\n

Oh, did it ever!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

“The boy! In the red poofball hat!” I exclaimed.<\/p>\n

I am referring, of course to one of South Park<\/em>‘s greatest episodes, “Woodland Critters Christmas.”<\/p>\n

Because when I looked at the cover to Jumbo Bible Christmas<\/em>, all I could see were devil worshipping woodland creatures awaiting the birth of their saviour, the Anti-Christ, and the three mountain lion cubs who, under the watchful eye of Stan, the boy in the red poofball hat, learn how to perform abortions.<\/p>\n

Everything about the episode is so deeply, terribly wrong, I feel slightly gross watching it, and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. To see an activity book in the grocery store, a Biblical one, no less, weeks after Christmas, with cute woodland creatures on the cover, it was that special South Park<\/em> Christmas I thought of, instead.<\/p>\n

Hail, Satan!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After work, I stopped at the grocery store, the Giant off Queen Street. I needed milk and bread and vanilla sandwich cookies. Though we’re three weeks past Christmas, there was a display dump of Christmas books. And it caught my attention. Oh, did it ever! “The boy! In the red poofball hat!” I exclaimed. IContinue reading “Going to Hell”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[131],"tags":[64,477],"class_list":["post-32440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-television","tag-christmas","tag-south-park","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32440","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=32440"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32440\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=32440"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=32440"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=32440"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}