{"id":34774,"date":"2025-10-01T18:01:15","date_gmt":"2025-10-01T23:01:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/?p=34774"},"modified":"2025-10-05T17:53:58","modified_gmt":"2025-10-05T22:53:58","slug":"the-wild-frontier-of-job-hunting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/?p=34774","title":{"rendered":"The Wild Frontier of Job Hunting"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In early July I applied for a job with a memory care facility in Lancaster. It was a marketing position, and I felt the mission of the facility personally — my grandmother suffered from dementia, and her mind gave out years before her body did. I was intrigued, and I applied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The application process was strange. I applied through Indeed, and when I thought I was done — and I suppose I was, from Indeed’s end — I had to take a “quick survey” to continue the application process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My friends, the “quick survey” was nothing of the kind. It was a fifty question personality\/loss prevention survey. I’ve administered surveys like this in my past life as a retail manager.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since it has been three months and I never ever heard back from them, I believe I can safely say that I was not hired. On that note, let’s share some screenshots of this survey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"9.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Does yelling through a monitor while reading email count? Because I don’t think that counts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"15.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I have a heart condition. You think I’m going to use amphetamines? I may be a writer, but I’m not stupid. Poor, maybe. But not stupid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"16.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"14.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Really?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"25.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I worked in an office. There wasn’t any “employer cash” to take. On top of that, I won awards at EB Games for loss prevention. I’m not taking a damn thing. I fired people for theft.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"28.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

There would be no thinking involved here. JFC.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"35.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I’m a writer, alcohol comes with the territory…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seriously, though, in case you can’t tell I’m being sarcastic. I rarely drink anymore. I’m on meds of various types, and I don’t want any adverse reactions. Maybe a drink or two a month. Maybe<\/em>. So, no, my work performance is never impacted by alcohol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"38.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Okay, yeah, publishing is a weird damn industry, and we were always<\/em> taking swings at each other…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christ on a crutch, I was applying for marketing<\/em> job. What the hell kind of marketing job ends up with an employee battle royale?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"40.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

i<\/em>. My use of meth can be measured in imaginary numbers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"46.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I have no friends. If I did, they would not know anything. I am a hermit, but not a hermit crab.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"48.<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Fanciful. I would describe my use as fanciful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s for the best that this survey was done online, because I’d have rolled my eyes so hard that they would have looped-de-looped a dozen times over the fifty questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I understand the need for the test — it was a job, working in a memory care facility, with vulnerable elderly people who are not going to be in the best cognitive shape — and that requires diligence in order to protect them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the test, as written, was so offensively cack-handed I’m kinda glad they never called me in for an interview.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In early July I applied for a job with a memory care facility in Lancaster. It was a marketing position, and I felt the mission of the facility personally — my grandmother suffered from dementia, and her mind gave out years before her body did. I was intrigued, and I applied. The application process wasContinue reading “The Wild Frontier of Job Hunting”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[5316,4507],"class_list":["post-34774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","tag-job-search","tag-lancaster","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34774","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34774"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34774\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.allyngibson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}