On an Unwanted Credit Card Application

I received a credit card offer in the mail yesterday.

I receive these from time to time. I’ll open the letters, read them, study the terms, and then recycle them. It’s a good system, it serves me well.

Today, though, I responded to one.

It’s for an offer from CreditOne Bank.

The terms were rediculous. An insanely high APR, plus an annual fee of $99. I’d call it usurious, but that would be an insult to loan sharks everywhere.

I cut up the application and the sample credit card they sent and put it in the postage paid envelope. Along with the following note:

Thank you for the offer, but I have to decline. Your terms amount of a financial rectal probe and someone would have to be a hapless moron to accept them.

Therefore, I am wasting your time (since you’re reading this) and your money (since you so kindly sent me a prepaid envelope) just so I can say that I don’t want your fiscal colonoscopy.


All the best,


P.S. Thanks for throwing this away for me. I really appreciate it.

I realize that some hapless form processor in El Paso, Texas will get this at the end of the week and my message of defiance will go unheard.

But sometimes you just have to say the things that go unheard.

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