On April’s Search Phrases

Rather than play the usual game of rambling about the things people most want to know, on the theory that I know something about them, instead we’ll look at the things people least want to know about. In the month of April, 1900 different search phrases were entered in Google or Yahoo! or MSN to reach my blog. Of those 1900, 1580 were not repeat offenders.


There’s a single search for “Annikin’s father in Star Wars.” Which is a duplicate of “Anakin Skywalker’s Father,” which is, as usual, the most searched-for phrase to reach my website.

But I’m not going to go through this list of search phrases and attempt to consolidate. That’s a pointless waste of time. 😉

So, what are some of the things people are intested in?

Aliens pitchers. According to The Pandora Principle, Saavik was on the pitching staff of Starfleet Academy’s baseball team. I can’t think of any other aliens who have taken the mound.

Amish fanfiction. Why? I mean, really. Why? If you’re going to write stories about the Amish, why would it be “fan fiction”? Why wouldn’t you try and sell them? It’s not like you’d be stepping on Witness‘ toes or anything.

Andronesian encephalitis. I have no idea what that is. Ah. I see. A disease from Star Trek: The Next Generation that Chris Bennett mentioned in his story for Constellations, and it’s annotated on the Constellations Annotation page on my website. Indeed. Learn something new every day.

Anna Friel looks like Zooey Deschanel. Remarkably so, yes. I wouldn’t have said that about Anna Friel a few years ago, but she does look remarkable like Zooey Deschanel in Pushing Daisies.

Anyone can have a bad century. What Jack Brickhouse famously said about the Chicago Cubs.

Bad Fitzgerald writing contest. I’ve not heard of this. Though I’d be interested. 🙂

Beatles itunes George Bush. I don’t see a logical connection, no.

BrickJournal. This one actually shows up three times in various guises. It’s a magazine on LEGO published by TwoMorrows Publishing. It’s a LEGO magazine for grown-ups. 🙂 I like it.

Captain Jack Harkness LEGO minifig. I want!

Carbon Leaf at Godwin High School. I have the live album they released of this concert. I treasure it with my life.

Christopher Lee blog. Methinks Christopher Lee is a bit busy for blogging. Not that I wouldn’t be interested in reading a Christopher Lee blog. As best I know, there’s not one.

Cornrows Harry Osborne. Because no one does a stupid haircut like Harry Osborn.

Does Ringo have a problem with McCartney. That’s a good question. There does appear to be a rift between the two that’s emerged in the past year. I’ve not heard any explanation, though, as to why there’s a rift, as Ringo was always the Beatle most likely to get along with anyone.

Editing Pen. I have a magical editing pen.

Employee discount EB Games. I get a lot of search phrases relating to EB Games. When I left the company the discount was ten percent. I can’t imagine that it’s changed. Or if it has changed, they probably lowered it to five percent.

Eye of the Argon audio. I’m not aware of anyone who’s recorded The Eye of Argon as an audio book. I can’t imagine anyone being able to do it without dissolving into fits of insane giggles. It would take multiple takes, and probably harsh editing.

Felt like Jimi Hendrix in the Beatles. Artist Sam Kieth’s phrase on why he left DC’s Sandman.

Jack Harkness preg. He says he was. (I get a lot of Jack Harkness questions.)

John Yoo disbar. I’d settle for Yoo to be dropped naked into Guantanamo Bay and sodomized with a doorknob, but disbarrment works, too.

Lankhmar movie Dark Horse. Dark Horse announced plans a few years ago that they were going to develop a comic book series based on Fritz Leiber’s stories of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser (and if you read fantasy fiction, and you haven’t read these, then there’s a massive gap in your education), and a movie as well. I’m still waiting. I know who I would like to see direct a Lankhmar film — Guillermo del Toro, with art design from Mike Mignola. Mignola illustrated the White Wolf hardcover editions of the Lankhmar series, and he was the artist on Epic Comics’ four issue adaptation of the stories. And del Toro has the right, grimy touch. As much as I would love to see this, del Toro has The Hobbit tying him up until 2012, and then there are other things on his plate.

lego starwars peple rele lego peple actionfigures. I don’t know what that means.

Necrophilia malignant narcissism incestuous symbiosis or. Or what? Don’t stop with “or,” not when I want to know more!

Owen Wilson as Booster Gold. I so fucking hope not. My ideal casting for a Blue & Gold movie would be Jason Bateman as Ted Kord/Blue Beetle and Will Arnett as Booster Gold. Watch the two of them in Arrested Development, and tell me that can’t work.

Phrases to turn her on. You’d have to ask her.

Proper way to bury a pet. In the ground?

Rules for writing drabbles. 100 words. No more. No less. There’s your rules. 😉

Seyar meaning? When you find out, let me know. Because I’m confused.

Smelling copies at school Didn’t everyone? I love the smell of paper fresh from the copier or laser printer. I love the smell of ink on paper. It’s tangy, and it’s so good.

Solo beatle #1 hits. When you find out, let me know. Thanks.

Star Trek roguelike. Color me intrigued…

When was Bill Melendez death. I didn’t know that Bill Melendez had died. Nope. Still alive at 91.

Women has lost her clothes and is naked in the middlie of the forest on video. And you think I have information on that? Sheesh.

Zelda Gamestop lawsuit. I don’t know anything about that. Maybe something to do with bundling?

And that’s a round-up of the random search phrases people send my way. Some of these are interesting to me. Some are not interesting at all.

However. This one is the most interesting of all. Just because it’s so fucking long:

john transferred his mother fixation from the ghost of julia onto yoko ono%3b during their married life john referred to yoko as mother john’s need for a mother superior type figure.

And there you have it.

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