On Missing Lids

The lid to the peanut butter jar is missing.

At 10:15 this morning, while fixing a cup of coffee, I saw on the kitchen counter the jar of peanut butter. Lidless.

It is a new jar, I opened it yesterday when fixing peanut butter-and-banana sandwiches for lunch.

A survey of the kitchen counter revealed no sign of the peanut butter jar lid.

I interrogated my grandmother, seated in the kitchen eating burnt toast and marmelade (her second, or possibly third, breakfast of the day), as to the whereabouts of the peanut butter jar lid.

She suggested that it might, in fact, be inside the refrigerator.

As nonsensical as this sounds — a peanut butter jar lid, alone in the fridge? — I examined the refrigerator.

Nothing.

Any leads on the whereabouts of a red peanut butter jar lid would be appreciated. Rewards for its safe return will be offered if tips lead to its safe return.


It is snowing in Charm City. Again.

I am not a fan of this.

I’m already in a sulky mood. I wrote a thousand words last night, and I like not a single one of them. Not even the “the”s.

Thus, we begin again.


ETA (lunchtime): The APB on the missing JIF peanut butter jar has been cancelled.

Investigation showed that the lid was not in the sink, pots and pans, cabinets, or drawers. Further investigation of the garbage can proved inconclusive. Investigation of the floor, however, proved fruitful, and the lid was recovered.

Crime scene investigators believe that the lid was taken off the jar of peanut butter, dropped, and then kicked across the floor, coming to a rest on the opposite side of the kitchen, beneath the kitchen table where my grandmother was seated.

Initial investigations had ruled out this location as a possible location for the lid. Because the jar was sitting on the cabinet, investigators believed that the lid would be found in close proximity to the jar.

Lid and jar have been reunited, and the JIF peanut butter is now in the kitchen cabinet, next to the window.

While my grandmother was initially confused by the situation, she has now blissfully forgotten that the peanut butter jar lid was ever missing.

Back to writing.

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