On My Annual Report to the Head Beagle

Recently, I picked up Fantagraphics The Complete Peanuts Volume 10, which covers the adventures of Charlie Brown and the gang from 1969 and 1970.

I was flipping through it leisurely, and on January 4, 1970, Snoopy received his annual questionnaire from the Head Beagle.

Without further ado, here’s my annual report to Head Beagle on my 2008:

1. How many rabbits have you chased?
I saw one in the yard in April. I gave chase, because it was there. I didn’t catch it. It definitely eluded me.

2. How many cats have you chased?
One cat, multiple times. Most often, it’s when the cat is being stupid; he wants to come inside, but then he won’t come in, so I go outside to fetch him, and then he decides it’s time to play. Again, the cat eluded me on these multiple occasions.

3. How many owls did you howl at?
None. I haven’t seen an owl this year. If I had seen an owl, I probably would have said, “Well, fuck me sideways, it’s an owl!” rather than howl at it.

4. Did you take part in any fox hunts?
I thought fox hunts were illegal in many parts of the world.

5. Relationships with humans…
a. How did you treat your master?

I have good working relationships with my colleagues at the office.
b. Were you friendly to neighborhood children?
I wave at them in the mornings, on the occasions that I see them. I had comic books for them on Halloween, if only they had come to my door.
c. Did you bite anyone?
I should hope not!

That, my friends, is 2008 in a nutshell. I chased cats and rabbits. I didn’t see an owl. Nor did I sink my teeth into anyone.

How was your 2008 by comparison?

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