On Shoot ‘Em Up

Holy shit. Holy. Fucking. Shit!

Shoot ‘Em Up. Clive Owen, as a mysterious man with a faculty for gunplay. Paul Giamatti, as some sort of rogue Black Ops spook. Monica Bellucci, as a hooker.

And a lot of fucking gunplay.

Have you seen Hot Fuzz? Imagine the last twenty minutes of that — the gunfight in the middle of the town. Now, stretch that twenty minutes out into, oh, ninety minutes. And skip any idea of plot.

Mindless, violent gunplay.

Clive Owen delivers a baby, and while he’s doing so he takes down a bunch of hitmen. Clive Owen is getting orgasmic with Monica Bellucci, and while he’s doing so he takes down a bunch of hitmen. Clive Owen bails out of an airplane, and while he’s doing so he takes down a bunch of hitmen. Clive Owen is getting his fucking fingers broken, and he takes down a bunch of hitmen!

Gunplay has never been so funny. Seriously. This film is hilarious. It’s not a sober meditation on the prevalence of gun culture in this country. It’s a mindless action flick that has one goal in mind — be as entertaining as possible. And by entertaining, I mean, you have to check your brain at the door. People are killed with carrots, for fuck’s sake. Carrots!

Some of the kills are Rube Goldberg-eaque. (The final sequence, especially. I mean… shit.)

Yeah, there was some semblence of plot, but who cares? Not when it’s so entertaining to watch Clive Owen handle a gun like he knows how to use it.

Holy fucking shit.

If you liked Hot Fuzz for how over-the-top it becomes, you will love this. Shoot ‘Em Up. Mindless isn’t always a bad thing. 🙂

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