On the Things I Don't Understand

I don’t understand why the water pressure in my shower doubled in the last week.

I don’t understand why the Muzak system at work insists on playing the Spice Girls. It’s not 1997 anymore.

I don’t understand why Obi-Wan calls Anakin “the Chosen One” in the Revenge of the Sith trailer when we all know that Dayton Ward is the real Chosen One. Though even Dayton might not bring balance to the Force….

I don’t understand why two days after snow and sleet we can have temperatures in the 70s.

I don’t understand why it took William Shatner until the twilight of his career to find the role of a lifetime.

I don’t understand why my phone lines stop working after a heavy rain. And then why they stay out for four or five days.

I don’t understand why my cat’s hair fell out and she grew breasts.

I don’t understand why college basketball is such a religion here to the point where things shut down and the streets empty.

I don’t understand why people who don’t know how to hook the XBoxes up to the Internet think they should hook their XBoxes up to the Internet.

I don’t understand why more people aren’t watching Arrested Development. Is its comedy too subtle and too intelligent for the masses?

3 thoughts on “On the Things I Don't Understand

  1. I don’t understand why Obi-Wan calls Anakin “the Chosen One” in the Revenge of the Sith trailer when we all know that Dayton Ward is the real Chosen One. Though even Dayton might not bring balance to the Force….

    But, by the same token, Anakin can’t write for s***.

  2. I doubt Dayton can make it a good movie, either.

    I don’t understand why the Muzak system at work insists on playing the Spice Girls. It’s not 1997 anymore.
    Because of liscening costs are cheaper…..I’m more surprised they play any spice girls…most of it isn’t conducive to shopping…when I worked in the mall, the system played Seal- Crazy all the time…get mall flashbacks when I hear it.

    I don’t understand why college basketball is such a religion here to the point where things shut down and the streets empty.
    Here, the streets fill up…I avoid Boulder on BBdays.

    I don’t understand why people who don’t know how to hook the XBoxes up to the Internet think they should hook their XBoxes up to the Internet.
    Because people are annoying and stupid. They want what they’re incapable of doing themselves.

    I don’t understand why more people aren’t watching Arrested Development. Is its comedy too subtle and too intelligent for the masses?
    Well 1) I forget it’s on. Last night I watched the Dragon show and forgot about it. 2) I find it a bit repetitive. things start off bad, Michael finds a way to fix it, wacky misadventures happen, way to fix it falls thru…next episode…3) I also generaly get worn out of shows which feature good person plagued by stoopid people, yet good person can’t cut out stoopid people…

  3. According to this Internet quiz thing…

    You are Dayton Ward, AKA The Chosen One. You are the author of such works as Star Trek: In the Name of Honor and The Last World War, as well as numerous projects with your self-described dead-weight writing partner. Your website is always available for perusing, and is informative and entertaining.

    Are you Dayton Ward or David Mack? brought to you by Quizilla

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