On Ice Cream Sandwiches

My grandmother ate my ice cream sandwiches.

Had she eaten them and thrown the wrappers away, I’d have been annoyed, but it wouldn’t have been a tragedy.

Had she eaten them and left the wrappers on the counter, I’d have been annoyed, but I’d have been okay.

Had she eaten them partially, and frozen what she didn’t eat, I’d have been upset, but that would have been salvagable. I’d just have finished them off.

But instead, she took an ice cream sandwich from the freezer. Unwrapped it. Took a bite. Set it down on the counter. And forgot about it. Whereupon it melted and made a giant mess.

And then she did this again.

Puddles of ice cream sandwiches weren’t what I wanted to find in the kitchen this morning.

There was one left in the freezer. I ate it for breakfast. I didn’t want a tragic fate — like melting, unloved, on the kitchen counter — to befall an ice cream sandwich — banana split flavor, no less — that had done nothing to deserve it.

It was the only right thing to do.

I’ll mourn for its siblings.

Those ice cream sandwiches! The tragedy!

I don’t know that I’ll ever be the same again.

Published by Allyn

A writer, editor, journalist, sometimes coder, occasional historian, and all-around scholar, Allyn Gibson is the writer for Diamond Comic Distributors' monthly PREVIEWS catalog, used by comic book shops and throughout the comics industry, and the editor for its monthly order forms. In his over ten years in the industry, Allyn has interviewed comics creators and pop culture celebrities, covered conventions, analyzed industry revenue trends, and written copy for comics, toys, and other pop culture merchandise. Allyn is also known for his short fiction (including the Star Trek story "Make-Believe,"the Doctor Who short story "The Spindle of Necessity," and the ReDeus story "The Ginger Kid"). Allyn has been blogging regularly with WordPress since 2004.

2 thoughts on “On Ice Cream Sandwiches

  1. Oh! That’s a terrible fate for frozen treats. I wish I had some ice cream sandwiches. I can’t even eat them properly, thanks to my sensitive teeth — I have to bite off bits with my lips and then smash it all up against the roof of my mouth with my tongue. And they cause me considerable discomfort (read: pain) when I don’t complete this process successfully… and they’re still worth it. Oh, what I wouldn’t do for an ice cream sandwich…

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