On the Perils of Peanut Butter

My grandmother refrigerates peanut butter.

I do not like refrigerated peanut butter. The reason? It’s impossible to spread. It comes out in clumps, and it tears the bread apart as I try to smooth it out.

All I wanted, all I really wanted, was a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

However, my grandmother had eaten the bananas. (She eats several a day.) There was only a half-eaten banana in the refrigerator.

And, of course, the refrigerated peanut butter.

The end result? A gummy mess. The peanut butter was cold and lifeless, and I had to layer it on thicker than I would have liked to keep from tearing the bread to pieces. The banana was okay.

I didn’t bother putting the peanut butter back in the refrigerator. Instead, I left it atop the refrigerator. There, it can thaw out, warm up to room temperature, the way peanut butter should be.

Published by Allyn

A writer, editor, journalist, sometimes coder, occasional historian, and all-around scholar, Allyn Gibson is the writer for Diamond Comic Distributors' monthly PREVIEWS catalog, used by comic book shops and throughout the comics industry, and the editor for its monthly order forms. In his over ten years in the industry, Allyn has interviewed comics creators and pop culture celebrities, covered conventions, analyzed industry revenue trends, and written copy for comics, toys, and other pop culture merchandise. Allyn is also known for his short fiction (including the Star Trek story "Make-Believe,"the Doctor Who short story "The Spindle of Necessity," and the ReDeus story "The Ginger Kid"). Allyn has been blogging regularly with WordPress since 2004.

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