Queen Isabella of Spain has long been a dangerous enemy. Her forces are strong, her will indomitable. Among the wilds of Patagonia, I thought, she would prove to be a formidable ally. Patagonia is an interesting land. Legend has it that the Dread Pirate Roberts retired there and raises sheep among its hills to thisContinue reading “On the Conquest of Patagonia”
Category Archives: Video Games
On Conquest in the Patagonia
Ah, Napoleon. My favorite sparring partner. I had never visited the Patagonia, despite the firm knowledge that the Dread Pirate Roberts had once retired there. It seemed an auspicious location for battle, ripe for conquest. Rocky shores, highland lakes, long and flat plateaus. Yes, indeed, this would be the site of my next battle. MyContinue reading “On Conquest in the Patagonia”
On Becoming a (Virtual) War Criminal
Two Swiss human rights organizations conducted a study on war video games. Their conclusion? The games allow, even encourage, war crimes. Which makes me… a war criminal?!?
On Snoopy Flying Ace
We wants it, Precious! We needs it, Precious! Snoopy Flying Ace for the Xbox 360. No idea when it’s coming out. It had better be soon! I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it. 🙂
On Illinguistic E-mails
There are times I’m glad I no longer work for EB Games/GameStop. Opening up my e-mail inbox today was one of those times. Here’s the subject line: Hugenormous Savings at GameStop! “Hugenormous”? Whiskey tango foxtrot? It doesn’t roll off the tongue, not the way “ginormous” does. How do you pronounce that? “Hug… enormous”? “Hew… gee..Continue reading “On Illinguistic E-mails”
On Super Mario, As Never Seen Before
The Nintendo generation passed me by. It didn’t make me cry. It certainly didn’t make me blue. But when my friends had the Nintendo Entertainment System, I didn’t. I didn’t really even care. That rectangular controller? All those buttons? It made no sense to me. So, the whole appeal of Mario? I don’t get it.Continue reading “On Super Mario, As Never Seen Before”
On Long Gestating Pre-Orders
So, the plug finally got pulled. Duke Nukem Forever is dead. Gone. Kaput. Will never see the light of day. Yahoo! had an article on their front page, about a gamer who had an eight-year old pre-order on the game. It doesn’t surprise me. The EB Games I managed outside Philadelphia had four or fiveContinue reading “On Long Gestating Pre-Orders”
On New LEGO Games
Let’s be upfront, here. I love LEGO. 🙂 I also love the LEGO video games. Though I haven’t played LEGO Batman, so I don’t know if that’s good or if it’s crap. That’s okay, though. It looks like Travelers Tales, the development studio behind such hits as LEGO Star Wars, is looking to develop moreContinue reading “On New LEGO Games”
On Games and Nostalgia
Dear GameStop employees, You can blame me. It’s my fault. No, really, it is. kthxbye! Oh, wait. You’re wanting me to explain that, aren’t you? You bounder, you cheat! Well, okay then. I was at the mall this afternoon. I was looking for the new issue of MOJO at Borders. Mostly I wanted the secondContinue reading “On Games and Nostalgia”
On Ensemble Studios
On Ensemble Studios I remember it well. It was the fall of 1997. I heard about this game demo from Microsoft for download. “Age of Empires.” I liked the title. I was curious, and download the demo I did. I’ll be honest. I didn’t like the demo a whole lot. I’d never played a real-timeContinue reading “On Ensemble Studios”