On Shoot ‘Em Up

Holy shit. Holy. Fucking. Shit!

Shoot ‘Em Up. Clive Owen, as a mysterious man with a faculty for gunplay. Paul Giamatti, as some sort of rogue Black Ops spook. Monica Bellucci, as a hooker.

And a lot of fucking gunplay.

Have you seen Hot Fuzz? Imagine the last twenty minutes of that — the gunfight in the middle of the town. Now, stretch that twenty minutes out into, oh, ninety minutes. And skip any idea of plot.

Mindless, violent gunplay.

Clive Owen delivers a baby, and while he’s doing so he takes down a bunch of hitmen. Clive Owen is getting orgasmic with Monica Bellucci, and while he’s doing so he takes down a bunch of hitmen. Clive Owen bails out of an airplane, and while he’s doing so he takes down a bunch of hitmen. Clive Owen is getting his fucking fingers broken, and he takes down a bunch of hitmen!

Gunplay has never been so funny. Seriously. This film is hilarious. It’s not a sober meditation on the prevalence of gun culture in this country. It’s a mindless action flick that has one goal in mind — be as entertaining as possible. And by entertaining, I mean, you have to check your brain at the door. People are killed with carrots, for fuck’s sake. Carrots!

Some of the kills are Rube Goldberg-eaque. (The final sequence, especially. I mean… shit.)

Yeah, there was some semblence of plot, but who cares? Not when it’s so entertaining to watch Clive Owen handle a gun like he knows how to use it.

Holy fucking shit.

If you liked Hot Fuzz for how over-the-top it becomes, you will love this. Shoot ‘Em Up. Mindless isn’t always a bad thing. 🙂

Published by Allyn

A writer, editor, journalist, sometimes coder, occasional historian, and all-around scholar, Allyn Gibson is the writer for Diamond Comic Distributors' monthly PREVIEWS catalog, used by comic book shops and throughout the comics industry, and the editor for its monthly order forms. In his over ten years in the industry, Allyn has interviewed comics creators and pop culture celebrities, covered conventions, analyzed industry revenue trends, and written copy for comics, toys, and other pop culture merchandise. Allyn is also known for his short fiction (including the Star Trek story "Make-Believe,"the Doctor Who short story "The Spindle of Necessity," and the ReDeus story "The Ginger Kid"). Allyn has been blogging regularly with WordPress since 2004.

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