On Cold

Screw it, said I. While my grandmother took her nap I turned on the furnace.

I'm tired of being fucking cold all the time. I swear, it's been warmer outside the house than inside.

Just yesterday my grandmother complained about being cold. “We could turn on the heat,” said I.

“No,” she said. “We never turned the furnace on before Thanksgiving. Some years we wouldn't run it at all.” I should have coughed bullshit, but it was enough to think it.

She doesn't want to run the furnace, and yet she's perfectly happy to run the oven full blast with its door wide open to radiate heat into the kitchen.

Don't worry, dear readers, when I catch her doing this I shut it off. “The oven's not meant to be run this way,” I've said. Sometimes I'll even play into her delusion that the oven dates to about 1910 as a reason not to do what she's done. (No, the oven dates to about 1985. Where this 1910 stuff comes from I've no idea.)

So, right now, my office and bedroom aren't freaking iceboxes. I've regained feeling in my feet. We'll see how long this lasts.

Published by Allyn

A writer, editor, journalist, sometimes coder, occasional historian, and all-around scholar, Allyn Gibson is the writer for Diamond Comic Distributors' monthly PREVIEWS catalog, used by comic book shops and throughout the comics industry, and the editor for its monthly order forms. In his over ten years in the industry, Allyn has interviewed comics creators and pop culture celebrities, covered conventions, analyzed industry revenue trends, and written copy for comics, toys, and other pop culture merchandise. Allyn is also known for his short fiction (including the Star Trek story "Make-Believe,"the Doctor Who short story "The Spindle of Necessity," and the ReDeus story "The Ginger Kid"). Allyn has been blogging regularly with WordPress since 2004.

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