Facebook, you know my interests too well.
But I am not going to buy an unlicensed novelty Washington Nationals City Connect jersey with “Standing on the Shoulder of Giants”-era Oasis holding the World Series trophy on its back.
I’m just not.
Yes, I love the new Nationals City Connect jersey — the light blue, the L’Enfant plan street map, all that.
Yes, I love “Standing on the Shoulder of Giants”-era Oasis. “Fuckin’ in the Bushes”! “Where Did It All Go Wrong”! “Go Let It Out”! “Let’s All Make Believe”!
But the more I look at the jersey, the more irritated the image of Oasis on the back irritates me.
The heads of Oasis, pasted on the baseball player bodies… it just looks cheesy.
And here’s the photograph where the heads were taken from.
I’m actually kinda shocked that I was able to run down the image of Oasis their heads were taken from in less than five minutes. “Is that ‘Be Here Now’ Oasis or ‘Standing on the Shoulder’ Oasis?”
Gotta be honest — I have never been able to identify anyone in Oasis beyond the two Gallagher brothers. The rest of the band might as well be anonymous to me. But I have the same problem with, for example, Coldplay; once I get past Chris Martin and Will Champion, there’s the other two… Buckland? Berryman? Don’t ask me which is which.
So, yes, Facebook. This intersects my interests in several really unique ways, but no. No. I will not be buying this.
Though I do need something to wear to the Oasis reunion concert in about six weeks…
No! Stop that! No.
No.