On WGN, the Cubs, and the Sox

I sat down to watch today’s Cubs/White Sox game. I was looking forward to two of my favorite announcers, Bob and Len, in the booth, talking about the Cubs and baseball.

Instead, WGN put the Sox broadcast team — “Hawk” Harrelson and some other guy — on the game.

I realized that while I’ve heard of the Hawk — with a “Heave the Hawk” website, how could I not — I’d never actually experienced, firsthand, how truly awful the Hawk is.

What’s so awful about the Hawk?

It’s not the White Sox playing today. It’s “the good guys.”

Yes, Hawk is a “homer.”

And it would be nice if Hawk and his broadcast partner had, I dunno, some chemistry in the booth. But they both sound bored as hell. Except for when “the good guys” make a great play or score a run.

And I don’t even want to know what Hawk said during that home run call. It didn’t even sound like language.

“Duck spit” to describe a hit? “He gone” on a strikeout? There’s not even a verb in that.

I’m just going to mute the television and imagine Len and Bob.

The Hawk is fucking awful.

I can’t believe there are White Sox fans, not if they have to put up with that.

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