Over the weekend at San Diego Comic Con, two new Star Trek trailers debuted. While I’ve worked in the comics industry for over twelve years, I’ve not had the pleasure — or misfortune — of attending San Diego.

First up, the trailer for Star Trek: Picard, the CBS All Access series about Jean-Luc Picard, with Sir Patrick Stewart reprising his iconic role, some set twenty years after the events of Star Trek: Nemesis (which, imho, is not as bad as its reputation) after Picard retires from Starfleet to the family vineyard.

I would have been happy with a series about Picard the vintner, running the vineyard, hosting wine tastings and weddings, entering Chateau Picard into competitions, getting into a rivalry with another nearby vintner played by Sir Ian McKellen, dealing with a vindictive critic, etc.

As you can see, that’s not what Star Trek: Picard is about. There’s a mystery. There’s lots of people with pointed ears (Vulcan and/or Romulan). There’s a shattered Borg cube. And there’s Seven of Nine and Data.

So, who is the enigmatic woman seeking out Picard, who feels that she can trust him implicitly? I’m entertaining two possibilities, one ridonculous, one slightly more plausible.

The plausible one — she’s the daughter of Picard’s clone Shinzon from Star Trek: Nemesis.

The ridonculous one — she’s the genetic daughter of Picard and the Borg Queen, created for reasons unknown after Picard was assimilated into the Borg Collective as Locutus. I always liked the idea from Activision’s Star Trek: Armada computer games that the Borg cloned Picard and force-aged the clone and gave him Picard’s memories to create a second Locutus. Giving Picard a cloned daughter is along those lines.

The second trailer is for six more episodes of Star Trek: Short Trips, little one-off shorts set at various times and places in the Star Trek universe.

Anson Mount and Ethan Peck were guests at Shore Leave last weekend, following their turn in the second season of Star Trek: Discovery as Christopher Pike and Spock, respectively. It struck me as interesting that Mount still had a Pike-styled haircut, seven months after the second season of Discovery wrapped filming, and I mentioned this to several friends. As we can see from the trailer, Mount had the Pike style because he’s reprised the role, at least in some capacity, for the new season of Short Trips.

I wonder if David Gerrold had any involvement in the tribbles episode.

These look exciting. Sadly, while I’m interested in these, as of right now I won’t be watching them, for the simple reason that I can’t afford to do so. It’s not the cost of CBS All Access membership. it’s that high-speed internet is outside of my budget. Perhaps if there are pay raises at work this year, which I am not expecting, I might be able to afford the ability to stream Star Trek.

Ironic, isn’t it? I write about pop culture every day for work and can’t afford to experience any of it.

Oh, well. One can dream.

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