Is there anyone reading this, anyone at all, that doesn’t know that I’m a guy? Anyone? Please, raise your hand. Raise it high. You won’t be mocked, I just want to know. Y’see, I really don’t want to have more brain-scrubbing moments. I’m not blaming anyone. I’m just saying. So, yes, I am a guy.Continue reading “On a Question for the Audience”
Monthly Archives: February 2007
On Heads
My dad has a joke he likes to tell. “God only made so many perfect heads. To all the rest he gave hair.” Pictures of Brit-Brit’s new foliclely-challenged scalp convince me, at least by my dad’s joke, that God did not give her a perfect head. Yikes, take those images from my mind! Some womenContinue reading “On Heads”
On Farpoint Conversations
Keith: “I love this song. He’s so earnest in his vocals.” Me: “It’s ‘House of the Rising Son.’” Terri: “Yes, but the lyrics are about Winnie-the-Pooh.” Me: “You took a song about a New Orleans whore house, and turned into a song about Winnie-the-Pooh?” Keith: “Yep.” Me: “You’ve just fucked with my childhood. That’s notContinue reading “On Farpoint Conversations”
On a New Poster
About ten years ago I saw a poster I wanted. A man was walking out of a frame shop with this poster framed, and it was one of those chance encounters that just make you go, “Wow.” The poster was cool looking, it had a nice composition, and I wanted it. Only I wasn’t sureContinue reading “On a New Poster”
On DHL Asshatitude and Ice
We have ice! And sleet! And ice! And muck! Yuck. There’s about three to four inches. The road looks passable. There’s been very little traffic. I hope the Beltway is generally clear. Also, DHL sucks dog’s balls. If you’re going to deliver a package when someone’s home, why just leave it on the porch that’sContinue reading “On DHL Asshatitude and Ice”
On Doctorishness
You scored as 3rd doctor. A man of science, a Gadget king, you can put up a good fight. You are just what the doctor ordered 3rd doctor 83% 10th Doctor 67% 7th Doctor 67% 1st Doctor 58% Davros 58% 5th Doctor 58% a Dalek 58% 2nd doctor 50% 4th Doctor 50% 9th Doctor 42%Continue reading “On Doctorishness”
On Idiots
Cthulhu help me, a Brooklyn idiot tells me he visits Baltimore frequently. If anyone gives this idiot my phone number or address, there will be retribution. The last thing I want is this dumbass showing up on my doorstep trying to be friendly. Just getting that out there and letting it be known.
On Tom Hanks Goodness
Mark your calendars. 27 March 2007. The That Thing You Do! Director’s Cut. One hundred, fifty-five minutes. A full hour longer than the theatrical release. Score! That Thing You Do! is the story of the Erie, Pennsylvania band, the Wonders (sometimes spelled “Oneders”) and their meteoric rise and very sudden fall from the pop chartsContinue reading “On Tom Hanks Goodness”
On Web Servers
I’m thinking ahead. Four months ahead. I want to change my web server when my renewal comes up in June. Why? Because, four years ago when I started my website I got a really nice deal on some server space in the UK. And it was a nice deal because the exchange rate was reallyContinue reading “On Web Servers”
On Rejection
Out of two hundred-plus resumes I’ve submitted, I have received all of two formal rejections. The vast majority of resumes and cover letters, unfortunately, go unanswered. The second rejection letter came today. I’d applied six weeks ago for a position with Daedalus Books to manage their outlet store in Columbia, Maryland. Though I wasn’t anxiousContinue reading “On Rejection”