On DHL Asshatitude and Ice

We have ice! And sleet! And ice! And muck!

Yuck.

There’s about three to four inches. The road looks passable. There’s been very little traffic. I hope the Beltway is generally clear.

Also, DHL sucks dog’s balls. If you’re going to deliver a package when someone’s home, why just leave it on the porch that’s never used? There’s someone home! You could have rung the fucking doorbell! A brain-dead carrier pigeon can do a better fucking job at delivering a package than DHL. I don’t know what DHL stands for, but it should stand for “Dumbass Handlers League” as in, “The Dumbass Handlers League brought me a package, and they fucked it up like the fuckbags they are.” And you can quote me on that. :popcorn:

Published by Allyn

A writer, editor, journalist, sometimes coder, occasional historian, and all-around scholar, Allyn Gibson is the writer for Diamond Comic Distributors' monthly PREVIEWS catalog, used by comic book shops and throughout the comics industry, and the editor for its monthly order forms. In his over ten years in the industry, Allyn has interviewed comics creators and pop culture celebrities, covered conventions, analyzed industry revenue trends, and written copy for comics, toys, and other pop culture merchandise. Allyn is also known for his short fiction (including the Star Trek story "Make-Believe,"the Doctor Who short story "The Spindle of Necessity," and the ReDeus story "The Ginger Kid"). Allyn has been blogging regularly with WordPress since 2004.

2 thoughts on “On DHL Asshatitude and Ice

  1. Oh – I can raise you on this one (you know, delivery company poker)….

    UPS….

    Okay. I live out. WAY out. 40 miles north of the nearest “small city”. Years ago, 5 of the little towns out this way had the same zip code…. boy THAT was fun with UPS….

    Well, now we have our OWN zip code, and normally the UPS driver has no problem finding me because he’s a personal friend (his wife and I have ridden our horses all over this mountain since about 1995….) However, Mark’s nearly retirement age, and he’s got a LOT of back-time he needs to use up, so he’s been on vacation practically continually this year. No problem, right?

    Wrong. Okay, so there’s only 40 families who live here full time. Fine. But there are 400 houses here…. (obvious to even the dim: most of them are closed up a minimum of 9 months of the year….) I order a new machine, because my current one has mega problems and needs to go back to factory soonest (before the warranty expires). The day the machine should arrive, I’m still looking for it at 6pm (DARK, in November….) Check the tracking stuff online –

    It says THE MACHINE WAS LEFT ON MY PORCH. What? No it was the hell NOT! I was home the whole g’damn day, NO ONE UPS or otherwise tried to deliver anything here! Was there a signature? No…. So my poor long-suffering husband (he who is 72 years old and in really good shape but hasn’t a clue about computers and could care less other than that I am NOT A HAPPY CAMPER) starts out on foot in a rain-now-but-nearing-snowstorm and looks on all the porches between us and wherever he actually finds the box – half a mile down the road on the porch of a house that the people use only about once a year – in JULY.

    Be very glad you were not on the other end of the telephone as I blistered UPS…. I am NOT NICE when I am angry. And I was very angry. UPS doesn’t get my business any more if I’m offered ANY alternative. My friend the UPS man has now retired, so he’s not having to listen to it lucky him….

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