On Weights and Measures

Anyone reading this should be familiar with the concept of the airspeed velocity of the unladen swallow.

If you’re not familiar with the concept, then why do I know you? Why are you reading this? 😈

Ahem. Sorry.

Naturally, oddball weights and measures have a certain appeal. Err. Naturally? Why did I use the word “naturally”? Anyone know? Let’s try again.

Oddball weights and measures have a certain appeal, as oddball weights and measures speak to the absurd, the impractical, and the genuine human desire to make things relate. The problem with the Metric System is that while everything relates it’s all… unnatural. Nothing natural weighs a kilogram. Nothing naturally grows to a meter in length. But say, “It’s grapefruit-sized,” and there’s understanding — we know what a grapefruit is sized like and even about what it weighs.

But let’s say you wanted to know about the velocity of a sheep in a vacuum? Or the area of Wales in cubic furlongs? How would you know?

Like one of those absurd scientific studies — like the energy expenditure required by Santa Claus to do what he does on Christmas Eve — this article is for those who like the absurd as rational as possible. 🙂