On the Bionic Woman

Last night I did, in fact, watch the premiere of the new Bionic Woman series.

I was on the fence. On the one hand, it stars Michelle Ryan, and she was nothing short of amazing and gorgeous and amazing in Jekyll. On the other hand, I can’t say I was a fan of the original Bionic Woman series. And on the Venusian third hand, the villain was portrayed by Katee Sackhoff of Battlestar fame, and I can’t say I find her either attractive as a person or compelling as an actress. Really, other than Michelle Ryan — who resembles a young Jennifer Connolly, come to think of it — I’d have no reason to watch this show. It had more strikes against it than for it.

It wasn’t like there was anything else on. Private Practice? Don’t make me laugh. I can’t stand Grey’s Anatomy, and it boggles my mind that the show remains on the air to this day, so the chances of me watching a spin-off? Zilch.

Grousing out of the way.

Bionic Woman. Premiere.

Boring.

Good production values. Interesting scene composition.

Boring.

Did I mention boring?

The problem? It’s a forty minute infodump. The story exists solely for expositional purposes. And it spent its time planting the seeds that later episodes are bound to pick up on.

And that made it boring. Because the episode didn’t actually do anything. There was beginning. There was build-up. But there was no end.

Michelle Ryan looked fantastic. I preferred her as a redhead in Jekyll. I preferred her native accent as well. She did a good job with the material. She conveyed the character well, especially in reacting to her new body.

The rest of the cast? Pretty unmemorable. The only person I recognized was Miguel Ferrer. And, strangely enough, I didn’t find Katee Sackhoff as annoying or underwhelming as I have in the past.

Will I watch Bionic Woman again? I don’t know. The premiere didn’t put a good foot forward. It didn’t connect, and I’m not seeing a reason to come back. We shall see.

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