On Toilet Paper Positioning

A few days ago I had to change the toilet paper roll.

Or, rather, it would be more accurate to say that the toilet paper was out, and I needed to get more.

But rather than replace the old, nothing-left-on-it roll with a new roll, I left the cardboard spindle on the holder axle, and set the new roll on the bathroom counter.

This seems to be a “guy thing” to do.

Perhaps this is a sign of a disorganized mind. Order isn’t as important as whether or not it’s there.

Eventually, in a day or two or sometimes even a week or more, I’ll migrate the new roll onto the holder axle.

In my younger days — which would take me up to high school easily — I found the plastic axle endlessly fascinating. I’m not sure why; it’s not a particularly compelling piece of engineering. It’s two cylinders, one nested inside the other, with a spring inside providing springiness. Nothing special. Yet it amused me.

When toilet paper is in the holder, I want it in the over position. Like most Americans, the over position is the position for me.

I’d say my reasons are aesthetic — the toilet paper just looks right that way — but they’re also practical.

As cats and babies have discovered through trial and error, toilet paper in the over position falls free off the roll. Indeed, I’ll just start the roll spinning, and then I’m good.

Toilet paper going under? It just looks wrong. And if it’s torn off in the wrong place, then I have to scavenge for it. And if I’m groggy, who wants to do that?

There are people who argue the positioning of toilet paper will a religious fervor. Perhaps someday they’ll call for crusades and fatwas against those who hang their toilet paper differently.

I am an over person. Just how it falls. 🙂