On a Declaration of War

My fellow writers, Times New Roman offends me.

Its crimes against reason and common sense are legion. Times New Roman is common. Times New Roman is plebian. Times New Roman lacks style and panache. Times New Roman is blase. Times New Roman lacks art.

Times New Roman has cast a spell upon the world. It is past time that its grip on the minds of every freethinking person be broken.

Therefore, I today declare war upon Times New Roman.

In consultation with my ally Palatino Linotype, we believe that the long twilight struggle against the forces of Times New Roman can be won.

It will be a long struggle. There will be many casualties. Many papers will be printed and pulped. Many websites will be ignored. Only by shunning Times New Roman can this struggle be won.

There can be no surrender. We must be eternally vigilant. The fate of style itself lies in the balance. Times New Roman must be cast down upon the scrapheap of history.

Thank you.

Published by Allyn

A writer, editor, journalist, sometimes coder, occasional historian, and all-around scholar, Allyn Gibson is the writer for Diamond Comic Distributors' monthly PREVIEWS catalog, used by comic book shops and throughout the comics industry, and the editor for its monthly order forms. In his over ten years in the industry, Allyn has interviewed comics creators and pop culture celebrities, covered conventions, analyzed industry revenue trends, and written copy for comics, toys, and other pop culture merchandise. Allyn is also known for his short fiction (including the Star Trek story "Make-Believe,"the Doctor Who short story "The Spindle of Necessity," and the ReDeus story "The Ginger Kid"). Allyn has been blogging regularly with WordPress since 2004.

4 thoughts on “On a Declaration of War

  1. Serpentine. Yes. Serpentine, too, must die.

    How many franchises has Serprentine graced? Star Trek, Star Wars, Babylon 5. Who else?

    If Serpentine ever graces Doctor Who, that will be a terrible day. Terrible!

  2. Also the MechWarrior novels (and a couple of their BattleTech predecessors). And it’s used on the cover of at least one Tim Zahn novel… Angelmass, it looks like from here, but I dpn’t feel like going closer to the shelf at the nonce. 😉

    I don’t think we’ll be seing it on Doctor Who anytime soon, though; it’s too busy overusing Deviant Strain.

  3. Yes, Deviant Strain. I have that. I can’t think of anything I’d want to use it on. It’s like the Hellboy logo font. I have that, but whatever for?

    A font I used to despise? Century Gothic. But it’s what our publications are done in, and it’s readable at pretty much every point size, and I’ve gotten to like it.

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