I love Big Lots.
It’s a department store filled with wondrous and magical stuff. Like Golden Compass action figures from France. Or possibly Quebec.
I’ve found it’s a fantastic place to buy breakfast cereal. Two dollars a box for good stuff. Sometimes bad stuff, but usually good stuff. Cap’n Crunch good stuff. Rice Krispies good stuff. Good stuff.
For about a year, I lived off of Hi-C Ecto Cooler. I could buy it by the jug, for a dollar each. Ecto Cooler! (Based on Ghostbusters, in case you couldn’t guess. It was green, like Slimer.)
However, sometimes I’ve bought things at Big Lots for which I ask myself later, “What was the thought process here?”
Is it because I’m at Big Lots, and I think everything they sell is magic? Is it that I’m a complete dunce? Thought process, what is it?
Take, for instance, Java Pop.
It’s a soda, made of coffee beans, not cola beans.
Vanilla flavored. So, I expected it to taste vaguely like Cream Soda.
It doesn’t taste like Cream Soda. Instead, it’s naff.
It tastes like coffee, sort of. It’s certainly not anything I’d willingly drink. Except that I bought a four-pack of bottles, and now I have to drink it.
Naff. I mentioned that, right? That it’s naff?
Let this be a lesson. Just because it’s at Big Lots and it looks cool, that’s no reason to buy it.
Unless it’s Ringers: Lord of the Fans, a documentary on Lord of the Rings fans I’d been wanting to watch for a long while. It was only three dollars. Pretty good deal, if you ask me. 😉