There is one thing I look forward to more than any other at Christmas time.
More than presents.
More than cards.
More than snow, tinsel, and the tree
I look forward to Mint M&Ms.
I love Mint M&Ms. I wish they were sold year round, so much do I love them.
They’re like ordinary M&Ms. But they’re minty fresh.
And they are awesome.
I bring this up, because I was at the store yesterday, and what did I see but a whole display of M&Ms. With the Indiana Jones logo emblazoned upon them.
Naturally, I was curious. Twenty years ago, when The Last Crusade came out, I couldn’t remember Indiana Jones being merchandised.
Twenty years. Fuck. I feel old.
So, this display of Indiana Jones M&Ms.
One of the bags was green. Green? I looked closer. “Mint Crisp,” it said.
I was excited by this turn of events.
I eagerly bought the Mint Crisp M&Ms, and went on my way.
I did not like the Mint Crisp M&Ms.
They weren’t sufficiently minty.
The crispiness detracted from the mintyness.
They mocked me, the Mint Crisp M&Ms.
These are one discovery that Indiana Jones should have left alone.
Christmas cannot come soon enough, so that the real Mint M&Ms can take their rightful place on store shelves everywhere.