A Cute, but Non-Functional, Bluetooth Keyboard

I bought my niece a keyboard.

She turns 16 at the end of the month, and she is a budding writer and journalist. So when I was at Five Below a few weeks ago looking for other stuff, I saw a cute keyboard and bought it, a wireless Bluetooth typewriter-style keyboard.

Look at it! It’s cute! Why, Ernest Hemingway would have looked so macho typing A Farewell to Arms on that.

When I got it home, I had a thought–“I should make sure it works…” I unpacked the keyboard, popped in a battery, read the instructions (which were sooo tiny I photographed them and blew them up on my phone, and powered up my computer.

An hour later, two computers, a laptop, a tablet, and a phone later, not to mention a YouTube video and a TikTok video showing how easy it was to connect, I came to an unfortunate conclusion.

The wireless keyboard was defective.

I repacked the keyboard, and several days later, on a work-from-home day, I ran over to Five Below and exchanged it. Surely, I thought, I cannot pick two defective keyboards…

I returned home, after stopping at the grocery store and buying cranberry juice and new batteries, just in case.

An hour later, two computers, a laptop, a tablet, and a phone later, I came to a new conclusion.

This wireless keyboard is junk.

At no point did any of my devices see either keyboard.

Bluetooth is a finicky connection protocol at the best of times. I use Bluetooth speakers around the apartment, and they’re good for what they do, but one of my computers just will not see one of the speakers, no matter what I do.

I have not returned the second keyboard. It is repacked in its box, sitting on my dining room table.

My sister says to send it to my niece anyway. It’s cute, she says. They’ll hang it on their wall.

I have not ruled that out!

I have also considered taking it apart. Maybe there’s a way to connect a USB cable, if I take it apart. Oh, who am I kidding? I would have no idea what to do.

So, for the moment it sits. Boxed up. Waiting for whatever I choose to do with it.

It’s really too bad. It’s a cute keyboard, and I think my niece would have liked it.

Published by Allyn Gibson

A writer, editor, journalist, sometimes coder, occasional historian, and all-around scholar, Allyn Gibson is the writer for Diamond Comic Distributors' monthly PREVIEWS catalog, used by comic book shops and throughout the comics industry, and the editor for its monthly order forms. In his over ten years in the industry, Allyn has interviewed comics creators and pop culture celebrities, covered conventions, analyzed industry revenue trends, and written copy for comics, toys, and other pop culture merchandise. Allyn is also known for his short fiction (including the Star Trek story "Make-Believe,"the Doctor Who short story "The Spindle of Necessity," and the ReDeus story "The Ginger Kid"). Allyn has been blogging regularly with WordPress since 2004.

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