On Chocolate-Covered Gummi Bears and Other Things

Recently I discovered the greatest food invented by the mind of man.

Juice-filled gummi bears.

Long have I had a passion for gummi bears. I liked going to a candy store at the mall and filling a bag with scoops of gummis right out of the bin. I like gummi bears soft and chewy. I don't like the gummi bears that are hard.

And sometimes, just sometimes, they are really hard.

These juice-filled gummi bears, though. They're fantastic. Especially when they're sour. Ohmigahd, when they're sour. Wow.

Greatest food invention. Ever.

But, gummi bears can go wrong. Oh, yes, they can so easily go wrong.

Like chocolate-covered gummi bears.

Herein lies a tale.

When I worked for EB Games in Raleigh, the shopping center where I worked had a World Market. Fantastic, wonderful store, I miss it every day. (They had a fantastic wine and beer department, hence my longing for World Market.) I could buy digestive biscuits there. I could buy Maynard's Wine Gums there. I bought Turkish Delight there (and thereby lost any respect I had for Edmund Pevensie, because I couldn't believe he would sell his family out to the White Witch for such an absolutely awful concoction). I bought Jelly Babies there (and, what was the fourth Doctor thinking, really?). I bought O'Mara's Irish Cream there, and I wish I could find it in Maryland because it was fantastic, especially in the Mint variety.

I also bought my sister a ukulele there. I thought she needed one. I don't think she's ever played it.

You could furnish your house there. You could buy Christmas cards there. I think they even had clothing, though that didn't really interest me. Suffice it to say, World Market carried a lot of everything.

One day, searching for a snack for the store, I saw chocolate-covered things on the shelf there. I tried, first, the chocolate-covered coffee beans, bought the little tub, and took it back to the store.

They were tasty. They also made me really hyper from the caffeine, no doubt.

When they were gone, I went back, in search of another snack.

Chocolate-covered gummi bears!

Naturally, this appealed. I love chocolate. I love gummi bears. Combine the two? Why, it must be magic.

Oh.

They were gross. They were beyond gross.

Words fail me.

The chocolate didn't mesh with the fruit flavors of the gummis within. Nor did the harder chocolate shell mesh with the softer, chewier gummi.

They were difficult to eat. The tastes involved were too disparate. The end result was, as we would say today, Epic Fail. On a conceptual level, on a practical level, on every level, chocolate-covered gummi bears were a misfire.

Some things are simply not meant to go together.

But when things do go together — like peanut butter and chocolate or peanut butter and banana or M&Ms and cheese pizza — it's magic. 🙂

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Published by Allyn

A writer, editor, journalist, sometimes coder, occasional historian, and all-around scholar, Allyn Gibson is the writer for Diamond Comic Distributors' monthly PREVIEWS catalog, used by comic book shops and throughout the comics industry, and the editor for its monthly order forms. In his over ten years in the industry, Allyn has interviewed comics creators and pop culture celebrities, covered conventions, analyzed industry revenue trends, and written copy for comics, toys, and other pop culture merchandise. Allyn is also known for his short fiction (including the Star Trek story "Make-Believe,"the Doctor Who short story "The Spindle of Necessity," and the ReDeus story "The Ginger Kid"). Allyn has been blogging regularly with WordPress since 2004.

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