On Being Inside Another’s Head

At the subway station tonight, I climbed the six flights of stairs to the Beetle, unlocked the door, sat down, put the key in the ignition, and turned. The radio came on. I heard not a song but a commercial for American Idol.

Tonight, the show was in Las Vegas. And the Idolators were going to be mangling… err… singing from the Beatles songbook.

I don’t watch American Idol. I couldn’t tell you who won any particular year, except for the first year because that was Kelly Clarkson, and she’s had a pretty decent musical career because she has a pretty good voice and a pretty powerful set of pipes. (Full disclosure: I was actually listening to Clarkson’s fourth album, All I Ever Wanted, today.)

Otherwise, though, I have no idea what goes on with American Idol.

But, the commercial had me curious and, so, when the time came I put on American Idol. And I suffered through twenty minutes of abject butchery of Beatles classics, from “Get Back” to “Here Comes The Sun,” and I decided that no one should suffer through such indignities.

If I had the power to read minds for a day, I would want to know who the fuck thought that letting a bunch of young karaoke singers mangle the Beatles library was any sort of a good idea.

Because it’s not a good idea. Not at all. If those twenty minutes were anything to judge by.

The truth is, though, I really wouldn’t want to read minds on a regular or semi-regular basis. The inside of my head is a strange enough place as it is. There’s no need to compound the confusion by having access to someone else’s thoughts.

I barely understand my own thoughts sometimes, and I’ve had thirty-odd years to get used to them. I can only imagine what I would make of someone else’s thoughts. I’m not sure I’d even understand them.

What I do think would be neat, if I had psychic powers, would be to see the world through someone else’s eyes, to hear the world through their ears. Not read a mind, per se, but to experience the universe through someone else’s perceptions. A different vantage point, a different baseline for understanding the universe.

That would be cool.

Maybe a little too Being John Malkovich for some. But I think it would be awesome. And that’s enough for me. :)

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