Why would anyone drink Bud Light Lime? It’s bland. It’s flavorless. There’s no body. There’s no aroma. It’s so inoffensive I’m offended. I shouldn’t complain; it was given to me, and I shouldn’t question the gift. Yet! Bud Light Lime. If this were the last beer left on the Earth, I would pour it outContinue reading “On Random Beer Thoughts”
Category Archives: Asides
On Being Accosted at the Mall
It’s gotten so that I don’t enjoy going to the local shopping mall. The reason? Kiosks. In particular, there’s a kiosk at the mall that is invariably staffed by salespeople who barely speak English, who are selling sea-salt skin products, and who snag their customers by reaching out and grabbing them. Once, many years ago,Continue reading “On Being Accosted at the Mall”
On Random Road Thoughts
I was out, on the road, this weekend. I’ll write about it later. For the nonce, I listened to Death Comes to Time, the Doctor Who audio from 2001, and found it surprisingly better than I remembered. It’s only in its final fifteen minutes that it goes terribly wrong. The journey to that point, however,Continue reading “On Random Road Thoughts”
On Things I Wonder About
Those rubber band balls you can buy at office supply stores? You know. The ones that are the size of a baseball. Round. Made entirely of rubber bands. And which would probably hurt like a motherfucker if you threw it at someone. Yeah, those rubber band balls. How are they made? Is it a machine?Continue reading “On Things I Wonder About”
On the Morning Brain Teaser
We have brain teasers e-mailed to us at work now. This morning’s question? A certain number consists of two digits. The number is equal to five times the sum of its digits. If you add 9 to the number, the order of its digits is reversed. What is the number? How do we solve this?Continue reading “On the Morning Brain Teaser”
On Rainy Weather
It’s rainy. It’s stormy. It’s really quite dismal. Perfect weather for getting some writing done! 🙂 ETA: Writing done. The storm’s done, too. All is good with the world.
On Missing Toothpaste
Does anyone know what my grandmother has done with the toothpaste? It’s Aquafresh. A new tube. Bought on Thursday. If seen, please let me know. Thanks! ETA: We can call off the APB on the toothpaste. Although I went out and bought another tube — my grandmother has a couple of places in the kitchenContinue reading “On Missing Toothpaste”
On the Perils of Peanut Butter
My grandmother refrigerates peanut butter. I do not like refrigerated peanut butter. The reason? It’s impossible to spread. It comes out in clumps, and it tears the bread apart as I try to smooth it out. All I wanted, all I really wanted, was a peanut butter and banana sandwich. However, my grandmother had eatenContinue reading “On the Perils of Peanut Butter”
On What Others Would Do
Ah, Mr. Stephen Fry. 🙂 He wrote, in his most recent column for The Guardian, “Some Christians have What Would Jesus Do? as a motto; I have What Would Douglas Think?” Douglas being, naturally, Douglas Adams. What an amazing motto. “What Would Douglas Think?” Doubtless it would be something snappy, something witty, something that bringsContinue reading “On What Others Would Do”
On Breakfast Surprises
Sprite was in the milk pitcher. Sprite.