On Illinguistic E-mails

There are times I’m glad I no longer work for EB Games/GameStop. Opening up my e-mail inbox today was one of those times. Here’s the subject line: Hugenormous Savings at GameStop! “Hugenormous”? Whiskey tango foxtrot? It doesn’t roll off the tongue, not the way “ginormous” does. How do you pronounce that? “Hug… enormous”? “Hew… gee..Continue reading “On Illinguistic E-mails”

On Super Mario, As Never Seen Before

The Nintendo generation passed me by. It didn’t make me cry. It certainly didn’t make me blue. But when my friends had the Nintendo Entertainment System, I didn’t. I didn’t really even care. That rectangular controller? All those buttons? It made no sense to me. So, the whole appeal of Mario? I don’t get it.Continue reading “On Super Mario, As Never Seen Before”

On Long Gestating Pre-Orders

So, the plug finally got pulled. Duke Nukem Forever is dead. Gone. Kaput. Will never see the light of day. Yahoo! had an article on their front page, about a gamer who had an eight-year old pre-order on the game. It doesn’t surprise me. The EB Games I managed outside Philadelphia had four or fiveContinue reading “On Long Gestating Pre-Orders”

On New LEGO Games

Let’s be upfront, here. I love LEGO. 🙂 I also love the LEGO video games. Though I haven’t played LEGO Batman, so I don’t know if that’s good or if it’s crap. That’s okay, though. It looks like Travelers Tales, the development studio behind such hits as LEGO Star Wars, is looking to develop moreContinue reading “On New LEGO Games”

On Games and Nostalgia

Dear GameStop employees, You can blame me. It’s my fault. No, really, it is. kthxbye! Oh, wait. You’re wanting me to explain that, aren’t you? You bounder, you cheat! Well, okay then. I was at the mall this afternoon. I was looking for the new issue of MOJO at Borders. Mostly I wanted the secondContinue reading “On Games and Nostalgia”

On Tortured Similes

I frequently read Penny Arcade. The creators bring a snarky eye to pop culture and video games, and the web comic rarely fails to amuse me. Today’s strip concerns, of all things, literary criticism. Specifically, the tendency in science fiction to invent really complicated similes for really simple comparisons. Throwing in random, made-up words —Continue reading “On Tortured Similes”

On a Battle in the Saguenay

Colonizing the Saguenay seemed a good idea. The land was lush. Resources were plentiful. There was abundant wildlife and water. Naturally, I wasn’t the only person interested in staking a claim to the Saguenay. So, too, did Henry the Navigator and Suleiman the Magnificent. They mocked my explorer, Sir Henry Sinclair, as he moved acrossContinue reading “On a Battle in the Saguenay”