On the Need for Pirates

It’s hot. It’s really hot. This is no mere heat wave. This is global warming, pure and simple. There’s only one thing to be done, really. High seas piracy. Where are the pirates stepping up to the plate, to sacrifice their lives, liberty, and sacred honor on the high seas? Where are the men ofContinue reading “On the Need for Pirates”

On Talk Like a Pirate Day

September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day, a day in which scallywags are allowed to be silly and liberally sprinke their vocabulary with an “Aye, matey,” and “Arr, ye scurvy sea dog,” and “Avast and ahoy!” Perhaps, to a Pastafarian Talk Like a Pirate Day should be mark some sort of religious festival. OneContinue reading “On Talk Like a Pirate Day”

On Piracy and Global Warming

It’s too blooming hot. The government needs to do something. Global warming isn’t something that can be ignored. Al Gore has shown us the light. But what can be done? Perhaps we should encourage high-seas piracy! Pastafarians, followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, believe that “global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are aContinue reading “On Piracy and Global Warming”

On the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Sometimes I agree with my brother–the Internet is the greatest single contributing factor in the decline of humanity’s collective intelligence. Witness the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Satire. Parody. Mockery. Make of it what you wish. The Flying Spaghetti Monster may have created the universe. Or not. It puts me in mind of the cosmic sneeze thatContinue reading “On the Flying Spaghetti Monster”